The Unbelievable Tale

This is one of the weirdest stories I've ever read. It has intrigue, lies, cover-ups, cold war shenanigans, academic idiocy, ties across the globe, lots of sex (of the "use the whole chicken" not just the feather variety), and a writer who gnaws at the facts like a dog with a bone. Truly weird.

 ON a humid afternoon this past November, I pulled off Interstate 75 into a stretch of Florida pine forest tangled with runaway vines. My GPS was homing in on the house of a man I thought might hold the master key to one of the strangest scholarly mysteries in recent decades: a 1,300-year-old scrap of papyrus that bore the phrase “Jesus said to them, My wife.” The fragment, written in the ancient language of Coptic, had set off shock waves when an eminent Harvard historian of early Christianity, Karen L. King, presented it in September 2012 at a conference in Rome. 

Never before had an ancient manuscript alluded to Jesus’s being married. The papyrus’s lines were incomplete, but they seemed to describe a dialogue between Jesus and the apostles over whether his “wife”—possibly Mary Magdalene—was “worthy” of discipleship. Its main point, King argued, was that “women who are wives and mothers can be Jesus’s disciples.” She thought the passage likely figured into ancient debates over whether “marriage or celibacy [was] the ideal mode of Christian life” and, ultimately, whether a person could be both sexual and holy.

It's pretty long, but I found it intriguing and baffling all at the same time. And strange. Did I mention it was strange?

War On Wymin

Let's end the suffrage, NOW!

The pipes, the pipes are calling...

Mark Steyn, no additional commentary needed.

Racy Humououour

So, I'm browsing on line for some long-sleeved thermal tops to wear under my scrubs when I come upon this gem:

Once I spluttered the coffee out of my nose and finished LMAO, I kept on shopping, but I couldn't quit giggling over the butt-lifting thermals. How would I look in those?

Oo-la-la!

There was also "lifting" undies for the menfolk. Picturing Noah's face as he opened them on Christmas morning was almost enough of a motivator to buy them (but, as they say, paybacks are a you-know-what!), hahaha!

I'll keep the pic of THAT little gem off of our front page: view at your own risk. Remember I DID say "racy"!

Stuff You Couldn't Make Up...

This is entirely the weirdest written article about the weirdest looney toon.  The fact that the subject of the article is BO's half sister makes it even weirder.  So, pull up a chair, pour yourself a magic goblet of moondew and laugh, snicker, despair.

Her innate tendency toward peacefulness, she said, had been sown and sewn into her own soul through the agency of her extraordinary mother’s uncommonly colour-blind and progressive world view. Through Stanley Ann Dunham, the white mid-American seeker and social anthropologist who married first an African and then an Indonesian man, she said, “I was granted comity, I was granted tolerance, I was granted artistry, I was granted sweetness.”

And I am granted an overwhelming desire to puke.

On A Personal Note...

I’m sorry I’ve been so distant lately.  I’ve been busy hosting a ginormous pity party with one guest; me, and hiding behind cheery FB posts. FB is a poor tether to real life.

The fact is this: I lost my shiny new job. Canned. Yep.

Skool Daze

For the life of me I can't fathom why we even bother having schools anymore. Pink Floyd were obviously more prescient than originally given credit for.

Heaven Help Baby Bodhi

Read it and weep.

Or laugh.

Or both.

Monty Python Is In The House

STOCKHOLM (FRIA TIDER). Owners of cars destroyed in the riots fined for parking illegally while police adopt non-intervention policy.

Since last Sunday, May 19, rioters have taken to the streets of Stockholm’s suburbs every night, torching cars, schools, stores, office buildings and residential complexes. Yesterday, a police station in Rågsved, a suburb four kilometers south of Stockholm, was attacked and set on fire.  But while the Stockholm riots keep spreading and intensifying, Swedish police have adopted a tactic of non-interference. ”Our ambition is really to do as little as possible,” Stockholm Chief of Police Mats Löfving explained to the Swedish newspaper Expressen on Tuesday.”We go to the crime scenes, but when we get there we stand and wait,” elaborated Lars Byström, the media relations officer of the Stockholm Police Department. ”If we see a burning car, we let it burn if there is no risk of the fire spreading to other cars or buildings nearby. By doing so we minimize the risk of having rocks thrown at us.”

Swedish parking laws, however, continue to be rigidly enforced despite the increasingly chaotic situation. Early Wednesday, while documenting the destruction after a night of rioting in the Stockholm suburb of Alby, a reporter from Fria Tider observed a parking enforcement officer writing a ticket for a burnt-out Ford. When questioned, the officer explained that the ticket was issued because the vehicle lacked a tag showing its time of arrival. The fact that the vehicle had been effectively destroyed – its windshield smashed and the interior heavily damaged by fire – was irrelevant according to the meter maid, who asked Fria Tider’s photographer to destroy the photos he had taken. Her employer, the parking company P-service, refused to comment when Fria Tider contacted them on Wednesday afternoon.

HT Protein Wisdom

Bureaucracy Run Amok

Ha ha, from my FB page. This letter (real or not) explains many of the reasons I haven't renewed my UK passport for a couple of years.

This, apparently, is an actual letter received by the UK Passport Office.

Dear Sirs,

I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe how is it that Sky Television has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a bleeding satellite dish from them back in 1988, and yet, the Government is still asking me where I was bloody born and on what date.

Do you guys do this by hand? My birth date you have on my pension book. It's on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 30 years. It is on my National Health card. My driving licence. My car insurance. On the last eight damn passports I've had. It's on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the plane over the last 30 years. All those insufferable census forms.

Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Mary Anne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be absolutely astounded if that WOULD ever change between now and when I die!!

I apologise, I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you an' me, I've had enough of this bullshit! You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my bleeding address!! What is going on? Do you have a gang of neanderthal arseholes workin' there? Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for shit sakes. I just want to go and park my arse on some sandy beach somewhere.

And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something wierd to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, you'd be the last fucking people I'd want to tell!

Well, I have to go now,'cause I have to go to the other end of the poxy city to get another fucking copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of £30. Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day? Nooooooooooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe make sense. You'd rather have us running all over the fuckin' place like chickens with our heads cut off, then WE have to find some arsehole to confirm that it's really me on the damn picture - you know, the one where we're not allowed to smile?! (bureaucratic fuckin' morons) Hey, do you know why we couldn't smile if we wanted to? Because we're totally pissed
off!

Signed An Irate Citizen

P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country since 1776 ... I have served in the military for something over 30 years and have had full security clearances over 25 of those years enabling me to undertake highly secretive missions all over the world. However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor .. WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN FRIGGIN` PAKISTAN!

Meet Chief Thief

                               Chief Spence on day 23 of her "hunger strike".

Theresa Spence is the Chief of a G-d forsaken community called Allawapiskat in Northern Ontario.  The "First Nations"  band living in Allawapiskat total between 1500 and 1800 people.  In the last six years the Canadian government (i.e. me, and my fellow tax payers) has given the community $104 million dollars, most of which has not been used to provide aid or assistance to the residents.  In addition to the Federal money, the DeBeers Diamond Mining company has provided over 100 jobs and $325 million in contracts to local band business.  More than 80% of all of these funds are unaccounted for (more about that later).

In 2011 the band pleaded for help stating that residents were living in abject poverty with inadequate housing, heating, clothing, schools and food.    The band was, at the time, "co-managed" (more about that later).  The Canadian government, in an effort to improve the lot of the band members, appointed a third party manager to oversee the financial management of the band.  And this is where things start to get really interesting.  Chief Spence objected to the appointment of the third party administrator and she took the Harper government to court over their imposition of third party management in her community – and won. The courts called the government’s implementing of third party management “unreasonable.”

Fast forward to December 11, 2012 when Chief Spence decided to move her well nourished body together with an entourage of "supporters" and "spokespersons" to an "island" in the Ottawa river (Ottawa being the seat of the Canadian Federal government) to begin a "hunger strike" (more about that later).  Said strike to be in force until the Canadian PM Stephen Harper and Governor General David Johnson agree to sit down and meet to discuss her demands for no less than one week.

Returning to the unaccounted for funds, here are the details of the damming report.

Returning to the "co-manager" of the band, Clayton Kennedy, who also happens to be Chief Spence's common law husband. He (and she) apparently see no conflict of interest in his co-management of the band and his relationship with the Chief. He is quite content to invoice the band $850 a day plus expenses for his "services". They own two vacation homes in Florida, she drives an $80,000 Cadillac Escalade, and the band stock portfolio is estimated to be worth almost $9 million.

 

Returning to the “hunger strike” which some newspaper columnists have referred to variously as a diet/New Years cleansing. Her liquid only “diet” and by liquid we ain’t just talking water. In true ancestral style, Chief Spence is also partaking daily of fish broth and moose broth. Both of which would keep an Olympic athlete fit for months. As one astute columnist noted, Chief Spence’s “hunger strike” has far outlasted the 21 days that Ghandi never exceeded and the 26 days it took for the IRA strikers to look like walking skeletons.. And in true sacrificial mode, Chief Spence has a chauffeured car pick her up from the tepee every day to drive her to a hotel so she can shower and rest.

 

In a moment of what can only be explained as Christmas madness, Stephen Harper has agreed to meet with Spence on December 11, 2012.

 

Chief Spence announced today that she will not attend the meeting.

 

"Nobody Knows The Truffles I've Seen"*

*Hat tip: Small Dead Animals

A truly hilarious article from David Thompson, On Fungal Matters, be sure to read the comments.

When Will Democrats Take Their Party Back?

I know THESE looney toons don't speak for most of the dems I know. Oh wait...most of the dems I know have dumped the party and are now registered Independents. The rest are waffling, especially after witnessing the extreme-left takeover of the convention and the whole "booing God" thing.  R or D, this is BAPTIST country around heah!

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Reason Number 989,998 Why The UN is Irrelevant

And preposterous, and specious, and nugatory.

Olivier De Schutter, the UN Special Rapporteur on the right to food, came to Canada at the behest of the various despots and potentates who make up the UN Human Rights Council, in order to point out what he called “unacceptable” rates of food insecurity in this country.

His solution is to increase social assistance and minimum wage in line with the cost of living. Taxes would be imposed on fatty foods and soft drinks; land zone policy would be amended to bring fresh food outlets to “food deserts”; food subsidization programs for remote regions should be enriched, as should support for First Nations trying to access “traditional foods.”

Needless to say, the Harper government was none too thrilled at being lectured by one of their least favourite organizations. Jason Kenney, the Immigration Minister, called Mr. De Schutter’s visit “completely ridiculous” and said he should focus on countries with widespread hunger issues. “It’s not an intelligent use of resources,” he said.

Read it all, it's delicious.

Can We Stop to Think a Minute?

Funny thing how many recording artists are sympathetic to the Occupy crowd. Musicians want to stick it to those money-grabbing creeps who want to squeeze every last penny out of the “little guy.” But let’s look at the music crowd.

News From Utopia

If government funded "safe" injections sites and "free" crack pipes don't address every addicts every need how about a "lounge" serving free alchohol to alchoholics?

I kid you, not.

“It would be members only because once word gets out it is free alcohol, everyone that just wants a free drink would show up,” he said.

Genius!

Playing At Anarchy

About 1,500 spoiled morons people "marched" in New York City yesterday, waving slick placards and generally making fools of themselves. Looking at photographs of the crowd, I'll venture to guess that most of the "protesters" grew up enjoying the fruits of the evil capitalism they now spit on. Is there some unwritten rule that every 50 years or so our country defecates a sub-class of selfish, ignorant faux-ragers?

The best way to counteract this expression of free speech is to point and laugh. I'll start!

Best first date evah!

Look how authentic I am! Overalls! And Mom only paid $500 for 'em!

College professor with the expensive satchel: if you run away you'll fail my class!  Come...here...dammit...

What's For Dinner?

Well, if you are lucky enough to get a reservation at the world's best restaurant el bulli ( or as I like to call it; el bulls#*#) the first of your 49 courses consists of:

Dry Martini

a spherical globule of reconstituted olive juice placed on the tongue and then sprayed with atomised gin and vermouth

Hmm...globule and reconstituted don't really scream appetizing to me. But maybe that's just me.

Followed by,

"smoked mousse" – a tobacco flavoured foam – "flowers paper" – essentially a sheet of candyfloss impregnated with roses, geraniums and pansies, and "hare loin in its own blood", in truth a sauce of tangy raspberry juice.

Hmmm, that's enough for me. But alas! e bulls*#* is closing this weekend. How will we ever live with ourselves never having been there???

I'm verklempt.

Not.

"Gender Creative"

Genderless

I object on the grounds that the fallout will cost thousands of my hard earned tax dollars in therapy for "Storm" and its siblings.

Although I do have a suggestion for future child or grandchild names. How about Bread, Butter, and Jam.

Obama Fiddled While Panetta Burned (Him)

Sorry for the tortured title, but. . .

According to the always-interesting (but never substantiated) White House Insider, Barry-Oh and Valerie Jarrett hemmed, hawed and dithered over assaulting or bombing Bin Ladens compound, and it was finally Leon Panetta, with the support of Hillary, Gates and Petraeus, who ordered the attack.