At first I did a lazy copy/paste from my email. Then, I thought I fixed it by saving the email image to my pictures, and editing the post that way.
Now I'm at a loss. I guess I'd better dig up a pipe wrench, some solder, a couple of horseshoe nails, and a 3/8" deep well socket. If you don't hear from me by March, send in lewy. ;p
If you need any specialized tools, give me a call from the nether regions of TCKT (you know, back there where the shadows are deep, and the spiderwebs impenetrable).
These are so funny! I can't provide you a written headline, but I heard on the Israeli radio news in the car the other day that the police had arrested a married couple involved in organized crime. Their surname? "Tzaddik" - which means... Righteous. :)) I laughed all the way home!
I got this by email today from my son. It might tickle your funny bone too, though you might have seen it already.
Oxford University researchers have discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.
A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years. It does not decay,but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as a critical morass.
When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (symbol=Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
Lady Red - none of your links/pictures are showing for me.
ReplyDeleteI wonder why? I'm sorry DWT...let me do some tinkering.
ReplyDeleteOkay DWT, I think I've fixed it! :)
ReplyDeleteWell, it is better.
ReplyDeleteI can read the first one, now.
But the others, no.
By way of encouragement, the first one is funny as heck.
Oh fiddlesticks!
ReplyDeleteAt first I did a lazy copy/paste from my email. Then, I thought I fixed it by saving the email image to my pictures, and editing the post that way.
Now I'm at a loss. I guess I'd better dig up a pipe wrench, some solder, a couple of horseshoe nails, and a 3/8" deep well socket. If you don't hear from me by March, send in lewy. ;p
I'm with Dances. here. I can see only the first one,too. :(
ReplyDeleteWe got your back, Lady Red!
ReplyDeleteIf you need any specialized tools, give me a call from the nether regions of TCKT (you know, back there where the shadows are deep, and the spiderwebs impenetrable).
ReplyDeleteMany more have suddenly appeared!
ReplyDeleteSend in the St. Bernard! No wait, just send the rum flask!
ReplyDeleteOkay, can you all see more than one image now?
Yay! Success!
ReplyDeleteSeeing these reminds me of a few years ago, when we were involved in an 'Adult Literacy Project' Spelling Bee to raise money.
ReplyDeleteThe newspaper team was one of the first out. Oddly enough, the hardware store team won.
The last team to go out was a Wal-Mart team, so we all outlasted the newspaper, radio news and college professor team.
Hmmmmm.
Dances, that is AWESOME!!!
DeleteLady Red - Six are up now. But the first, about the deadly miracle cure, is gone.
ReplyDeleteLOL! I'm not the least bit surprised the hardware store team won. :)
ReplyDeleteAs a completely off-topic comment;
ReplyDeleteI went to the grocery today at lunch, and a local radio station was setting up for a remote.
I happen to know the on-air guy, so was teasing him a bit, when the producer said 'Wow, you really have a voice, you should be on the radio!'
I told her (in my deepest radio voice) 'Well I applied at your station once, but was never hired.'
The on-air guy laughed his butt off. Good thing they were not 'Live, from Giant Eagle Market' yet.
Okay, I just added more headlines. They give me the giggles!
ReplyDeleteI like these enough to be reading them, loudly, to my sister as she tries to watch TV - they are getting more laughs here than 'The Big Bang Theory'.
ReplyDeleteOK, folks - it is bedtime for this Bonzo.
ReplyDeleteI note that the comment spell checker is gone, as I almost posted 'bedtimme' with no electronic warning.
I see them and I love them!
ReplyDeleteI see everything too. Nice work lady red!
ReplyDeleteFYI - if anyone is running the Chrome browser, and really wants to see "under the hood"...
- try selecting some element on the page. For example, select some text as if you were going to copy it to paste later.
- now "right click". You should see a menu. One of the menu items will be "Inspect Element". Click that.
- the bottom half of your browser screen will become an HTML/CSS/javascript development environment. You'll see all the raw code in all it's glory.
This is how I "pop the hood" when my javascript starts misbehaving.
These are hilarious lr, thank you.
ReplyDelete:))
These are so funny! I can't provide you a written headline, but I heard on the Israeli radio news in the car the other day that the police had arrested a married couple involved in organized crime. Their surname? "Tzaddik" - which means... Righteous. :)) I laughed all the way home!
ReplyDeleteHow did I miss these? I love, love, LOVED them!!!
ReplyDeleteWhen I used to watch Leno, my favorite part of the show was when he did headlines. Especially the funny wedding names, lol!!
Thanks for the laughs, lady red, this was just what I needed :-D
I got this by email today from my son. It might tickle your funny bone too, though you might have seen it already.
ReplyDeleteOxford University researchers have discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has
one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into
contact.
A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years. It does not decay,but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the
assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as a critical morass.
When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (symbol=Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
This would probably fit just as well on Jourdan's thread. :)
DeleteAHAH!! A rational explanation at last!
Delete