Sunday, January 16, 2011

The Afghan Quarterback

From my email:

The Afghan Quarterback


The coach had put together the perfect team for the Detroit Lions. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win.

Then, one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in Afghanistan. In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Afghan Muslim soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story window 100 yards away.

KABOOM!

He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney.

KA-BLOOEY!

Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph.

BULLS-EYE!

"I've got to get this guy!" coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!"

So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football. And, the Lions go on to win the Super Bowl.

The young Afghan is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother.

"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!"

"I don't want to talk to you," the old Muslim woman says. "You are not my son!"

"I don't think you understand, Mother," the young man pleads. "I've won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans."

"No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get raped!" The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says, "I will never forgive you for making us move to Detroit!"

66 comments:

  1. Groan. :-L

    Mathew Stafford is an Afghan? Who knew?:)

    No matter, his throwing shoulder is toast and Detroit's record of drafting top cripples is still intact.

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  2. Hahaha! Too funny! I'm sending this to my mom and my sister. :D

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  3. ahahah too good, too good! This is going straight up on my FB wall :)

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  4. Finally eh :)...I'll be around more from now on; promise! :)

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  5. Woohoo!

    img:"http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y117/floranista/dancingrwcimage.gif"

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  6. Two bits says the Super Bowl draws more audience than the SOTU speech last Tuesday night.

    imgw:"http://maaadddog.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/1008obama-with-football1.jpg?w=244&h=300"

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  7. I'll see your bet and raise you a nickel. :-)

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  8. It's noon here and I picked up a load of bark this morning. The sun's out, it's in the 50s so I need to tear myself away from the computer and get out there.

    I'm sorry you all in the east are having such awful weather again. I don't know how we in Washington managed to escape it this time...

    I think afw & Alphie's areas have been hit particularly hard. Stay safe, guys.

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  9. imgw:"http://cbullitt.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/obama1.gif?w=400&h=500"

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  10. On second thought, I fold.

    I didn't even bother to watch the SOTU address this year except to see which Supremes showed up.

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  11. I love that!!

    LMAO!!!

    img:"http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y117/floranista/thatsracist.gif"

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  12. I did watch it, beginning to end. A "2012 campaign speech" more or less...noting with any grit or change, let alone hope.

    The thinking seems to be that "independents" won't bother to check back to see if even a single positive allusion becomes reality ... smooth words should suffice. Right? Right?

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  13. Hey, Mauro! Good to see you again. Hope you've been well.

    Didn't watch the SOTU, but don't think I missed much. I love the graphics though, ari.

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  14. I'm quite envious that you're gardening, florrie. We've had a cold, cold January. Yes, lots of snow, too. The storms haven't been too terrible, but there haven't been any warm days- so it just keeps piling up and there's nowhere to put it anymore.

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  15. Damn, I hate weather like that. I hope it warms up soon.

    The good news is...the boys are probably having a blast, eh?

    img:"http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y117/floranista/snowmen.jpg"

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  16. My commute on Wednesday...1h 45m.

    My boss....8h 30m..

    Hee hee hee

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  17. I see florrie is still a thief...:-(

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  18. Whomever made #14, my hat's off to you. That's perfect.

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  19. Hey RWC, if you go here and sign up for a Google Account, you will be able to use it in the comments section here and it will remember your nic/name so you don't have to enter it every time you comment.

    Also, your nic/name will be ih highlighted blue and underlined like ours are!

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  20. My # 23 is for Alphie too, and anyone else who has to type their name in everytime they comment.

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  21. I see florrie is still a thief...:-(

    img:"http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y117/floranista/concentrate.gif"

    img:"http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y117/floranista/rwcguy.jpg"

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  22. Hi RWC!!!

    img:"http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y117/floranista/chickendance.gif"

    How's the wife?

    img:"http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y117/floranista/rwcwedding.jpg"

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  23. Since this thread is about Afghanistan, sort of ... can anyone explain why the f**k we're still in that frickin' country, losing lives for that piece of sh*t nation?

    Article was buried deep in a Wall Street Journal, and off to the side on bottom to boot.

    Executing citizens because they converted to Christianity? Or any other belief except radical Islam? We are paying money and blood for that f**king kleptocracy and have to "ask them" to spare the Christians?

    I'd be satisfied to just bomb them into the stone age periodically, and use drone to whack a mole the survivors.

    My new position is to cut off all funding for Karzi, blow everything of value up, and leave immediately.

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  24. My new position is to cut off all funding for Karzi, blow everything of value up, and leave immediately.

    I agree with you 100% on that, Aridog.

    They want me to subscribe to continue reading but I get the gist of it. I became more convinced than ever that we need to get out NOW, before one more American or allied death, after reading this little gem:


    Warning: graphic video with article

    They will never willingly change. Never.

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  25. Looks like Blogger is wacky again ... Florinista's last post is in the sidebar, but is not here.

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  26. I'm beginning to come around to your point of view.

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  27. Then I turn around and see/hear something like this "We will not be silenced, whether you're a Christian, whether you're a Muslim , whether you're an atheist, you will demand you goddamn rights, and we will have our rights, one way or the other! We will never be silenced!" happening in Egypt and my cynicism turns to a glimmer of hope. Hope that things can get better. I can only wonder at how many others in Egypt share that mans thoughts. Or, if Mubarak leaves will Egypt turn into another Islamist shithole of a country.

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  28. Aridog #29, that happens when someone makes a comment and then decides to delete it. The comment gets deleted from the thread but it stays on the sidebar until another comment is made somewhere on the blog. If you at the sidebar now you will see it has gone from there too.

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  29. Luther ... Well, Egypt is most definitely not the ignorant sewer state that Afghanistan is, let alone Iran.

    None the less, this "spontaneous uprising" in so many countries at the same time reminds me of Tet 1968.

    Is it coincidental that this follows our (the USA's) shabby handling of real Democracy in Honduras?

    I don't see a good or fair way for the US government in this affair. If we jump all on the side of all the protesters, the majority of whose "politics" we don't really know, we come off as untrustworthy as an ally. The faint hope that the majority there favor "democracy" versus just their turn on the throne (think Iran)leaves me unmoved.

    If we stay on the side of the autocracies and worse, we're doing what we've frequently done ... set ourselves up to be called imperialist pigs.

    I wonder what the average Afghan really thinks about his/her current government, the one sponsored by the USA and established by US military might?

    What, precisely, are we "winning?"

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  30. Fay #32 ... ah, I see...Florie got "cold feet" and caused it. :D

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  31. OK, this is the last time I'm going to try to post. I responded to Aridog's #28 twice last night. But I think what he said is important and I've also changed my view.

    My new position is to cut off all funding for Karzi, blow everything of value up, and leave immediately.

    I agree 100%. I didn't know about the Christians whose lives we are bargaining for (and I have to subscribe to read the whole article). But I get the gist of it. My feelings that we need to get out NOW were cemented after reading this gem:

    Warning: graphic video with article

    They will never change, in my opinion. How much worse can it get? It's at the nadir of humanity right now.

    I was naively encouraged by many of his campaign promises. Stupid me, they were all lies to get elected. I honestly thought he would follow through on this one.

    It is not worth one more American or allied death.

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  32. Back on DWT's little swipe at Detroit meme :l ...we got snow. Snow is good. It muffles the gunfire =))

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  33. I don't see a good or fair way for the US government in this affair. If we jump all on the side of all the protesters, the majority of whose "politics" we don't really know, we come off as untrustworthy as an ally. The faint hope that the majority there favor "democracy" versus just their turn on the throne (think Iran)leaves me unmoved.

    If we stay on the side of the autocracies and worse, we're doing what we've frequently done ... set ourselves up to be called imperialist pigs.


    Exactly. We need to STFU and stay out of it. I listeded to a few seconds of Obama's platitudes before I had to leave the room. I guess this is another crisis he's not wasting...and all the good little mouthpieces are doing their part by refering to him as the new Reagan. *spit*

    Luther, I know what you're saying but I'm afraid that El Baradai will soon take over - propped up by the Muslim Brotherhood.

    Dances got it right, the religion of pieces.

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  34. Re: Florie # 35 ...

    Here is the main part of the article:

    KABUL—The U.S. government and some international Christian organizations are pressing Afghanistan to release two men who converted to Christianity, were arrested on apostasy charges, and could face the death penalty if convicted.

    The U.S. has called on Afghan authorities to respect the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, a document endorsed by Afghanistan that upholds freedom of religion. "We continue to call for their release, and frequently raise this issue with the highest levels of the government of Afghanistan, expressing our strong concern," said Caitlin Hayden, spokeswoman of the U.S. Embassy in Kabul.

    Afghan officials have been unapologetic. "The sentence for a convert is death and there is no exception," said Jamal Khan, chief of staff at the Ministry of Justice. "They must be sentenced to death to serve as a lesson for others." Apostasy is a capital crime in Afghanistan, where the constitution is based on Shariah, or Islamic law.

    [snip]

    One of the detained men, Said Musa, 46 years old, converted nine years ago. He has worked for the International Committee of the Red Cross as a physical therapist in Kabul for over 15 years. After Mr. Musa's arrest in May, his wife and six children fled the country, fearing for their safety.

    The second convert, 25-year-old Shoaib Assadullah Musawi, was arrested in November in Balkh province, in northern Afghanistan, after giving a copy of the New Testament to an Afghan friend, who turned him in.

    [snip]

    Supporters of the two converts say the case shows the new government isn't that much more tolerant than the Taliban regime that coalition forces toppled nine years ago.


    I'm not a big fan of proselytizers per se ... but in these cases neither was a product of any recent proselytizing.

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  35. Fay, I didn't delete. I tried twice to post it which was frustratiing as I have to look up how to link on Blogger then find the url of the article again.

    Plus, if a comment has been deleted, I believe it says so in place of the comment.

    No cold feet here, Aridog, just frustration at our effed up government and the jokes we have representing us. (and blogger!)

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  36. #39 florrie, ah sorry. What I described has happened to me so I thought it was the same situation. Actually, if you have admin priviledges, you can delete completely without anyone knowing it was there to begin with with.

    An easy way to link in the comments is to go to "Create a link" at the bottom of the thread page and delete what's in the box and type your comment there and link like you do when you are doing a post. Cut and paste from the that box into the comment box.

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  37. Thanks for reprinting it for me, Aridog.

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  38. Actually, if you have admin priviledges, you can delete completely without anyone knowing it was there to begin with with.

    Oh ok, thanks Fay. I'm a techo-tard, as afw would say :-) I have to look up everything but how to post and image or simple stuff like bold or italic.

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  39. I never noticed that "create a link" before, Fay; thanks again.

    img:" http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y117/floranista/embarrassed.png"

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  40. Ref Luther's # 31 ... then again, another interesting take on the matter (from one of my favorite blogs to read). I guess I'd feel better if it is true ... then I'd not be so reactionary on the subject. :-L

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  41. Agree on comparison twixt the two countries. Also would like to know the 'man in the street' thoughts about what is being 'won'. But I'll tell ya, the larger thought I have about 'Afgai' is what happens to the women and children after we leave. It will be a living hell, as never again will anyone lift a hand to help no matter how atrocious and despicable Taliban deeds.

    Considering Iran's support of the protests in Egypt, no matter my post above, I'm thinking they have a much larger hand in all of this, including Tunisia, et al, than they are being given credit for. Also agree that there is little the US can actually do in Egypt, there is tremendous risk in any action we take. And Florrie, I agree with you though I don't like it. Iran will soon be calling the shots for El Baradai as he turns Egypt into a theocracy.

    I can believe the Althouse post, almost, as it was pre-GWB. But, as you, Ari, mentioned Honduras, I don't believe the current admin gives a shit about anything, but 2012. Yeah, I've been reading more at Althouse's myself. Good commenters.

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  42. My # 23 is for Alphie too, and anyone else who has to type their name in everytime they comment.

    I do- from time to time- log into my Google account so I don't have to type my name in with each comment (plus you all get the added bonus of having quick, easy access to my stellar blog). However... this can be a problem if I have, say, more than one Google account and accidentally forget to switch before posting.

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  43. Let's take the worst case scenario. A vehemently aggressive brand of Islam taking control of Egypt. Similar if not quite the same as the Taliban. Not out of the question if you ask me.

    So as with the Buddhist statues in Afghanistan. Will we see the Pyramids leveled block by block, the Sphinx reduced to a large sandpile, the artifacts in the Egyptian Museum burned to the ground. Strict Islamist doctrine would dictate that all happen, wouldn't it?

    That scares the hell out of me. That loss.

    I would personally fight, to prevent such.

    Ah fuck, such a complicated world. And, frankly, I'm much too old to be worried about any of it. I just can't help myself, though.

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  44. Luther #48

    You are speaking my thoughts there, Luther. It still bothers me what they did in Bamiyan (sp). I think I would fight too.

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  45. To Luther and florrie and you other guys here: The prospect of an Islamist gov't taking over in Egypt terrifies the daylights out of me, and every other Israeli.

    Much as we all admire the Sphinx and the many ancient artifacts in Egyptian museums, I worry more about what will happen to the already-cold peace between Egypt and Israel should the Moslem Brotherhood or other Islamic extremists take power. And also how such a takeover would affect Gaza. It is so volatile on the Gaza border that any slight thing could trigger a conflagration.

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  46. Oh, yeah, and as you can see from my name's link above, I've started a blog. It's only a baby for now but you're all welcome to join in the discussion. :)

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  47. Still catching up from being under the weather here. But I've been following events in Egypt. My $0.02 FWIW: (Sorry no links but I'll try to make my points googleable).

    - There's the idea out there that the protesters are predominantly secular, not radical, and just want to get rid of Mubarak the dictator and have some sort of say in government. I don't buy this, completely - it's a bit naive at best.

    - There's another idea out there that the protesters are mostly seeking a sharia theocracy. (Some Pew poll data in support of this - I think Michael Totten cited some in his last post). Therefor we have to stand with "Egypt, our ally" (meaning Mubarak) to keep a lid on the "volatile arab street". I don't buy this either, completely. Egypt is not Afghanistan, as Luther alluded to. (It ain't Kansas, either).

    - That said, I don't think the Muslim Brothers are (right now) calling the shots here. I don't think ignoring or crushing the popular uprising is either defensible or wise in the long run. (Neither is throwing Mubarak promptly under the bus in the style Obama has done with other "allies", for the reasons Ari suggested. If he goes, he's got to be eased / finessed out).

    - If anyone is calling the shots, it's the Egyptian armed forces / state security apparatus. I just really can't see how this ends with their being completely discredited and disenfranchised. (Which would happen if they ended up perpetrating a Tienanmen 2.0 - which they currently show no appetite for). They will play a moderating / meditating role. They are doing this now. This is good news for annie's concerns and for Israel generally; it is this organization which upholds what (cold) peace exists between the two countries.

    - Enough red lines have been crossed that I don't see how Mubarak can stay. Could be wrong about this, but his days are numbered. His son fled to London; his cronies just got out on private jets to Dubai. Permanent shopping exile. Mubarak just shut down Al Jazeera in Egypt ffs. Not a good sign.

    - Revolution will NOT spread to the gulf states - too rich. Tunisia and Egypt had economic catalysts, not political. It wasn't Iran, it was Ben Bernanke printing dollars and generating food inflation for the people who could least afford it.

    - As long as Egypt military has veto power over factions within new government, I don't see the Muslim Brothers taking over completely. But - they will be legitimized and de-marginalized in a way they have not enjoyed in some time. I think the risk with them is not two weeks in the future but more like two years.

    We'll see how this plays out but that's how I see it at this hour.

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  48. annie, you are surely right, of course. Please don't for a moment think that I place mere historical artifacts above the security of Israel. You have every reason to be worried about what the end result of this 'revolution' will be.

    Lewy, thing is, is that so far the military is remaining neutral for the most part. Perhaps they will just wait and watch which 'strong horse' takes the lead. I would venture that at present no one has any idea whom that might be.

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  49. On the other hand, annie, perhaps not all is so bleak
    as we think.

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  50. Great thread everyone. I'm digesting all that has been said.

    Annie has a new blog! How wonderful! I'm going over there now to say hello...

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  51. Lewy and Luther: yes, there is room for some slight optimism. For the moment we are all just sitting tight and listening obsessively to the news.

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  52. @lady red: You're welcome!

    /frantically rushing over to tidy up, wash the dishes, clean out the kitty litter...:))

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  53. Annie, LMAO!!! I LOVE your new blog!

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  54. oh annie, please don't think I care more about ancient artifacts than you, or anyone in Israel, for that matter. In fact, you were on my mind all day yesterday when I thought of what is happening in Egypt.

    As Luther said:
    annie, you are surely right, of course. Please don't for a moment think that I place mere historical artifacts above the security of Israel.

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  55. Hey florrie. Please don't get down, certainly not on my behalf. Read the Kotel's tweet in my no. 59 and have a giggle. And pop into my blog and have a giggle (and a rant) there too. :)

    And of COURSE I would never dream of imagining that you or any of the comrades here would put more value on artifacts than on human life. I must apologise for making it look like I thought that of any of you.

    It was just the mention of the Taliban blowing up the statues, and seeing pictures today of the rioters looting an Egyptian museum, that triggered my comment. This is not to say that we aren't concerned about the situation in Egypt. We just have to hope that the IDF and our gov't have matters in hand and the border firmly under control.

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  56. Love you, annie, stay safe! Just glancing at the Drudge headlines I see they (Egyptians) are now starting to blame US and Israel...

    I'm going to go take a look at the new blog.

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  57. " Actually, if you have admin priviledges, you can delete completely without anyone knowing it was there to begin with with."

    Therefore no-one knows how many rants I've posted, then hastily removed.

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  58. #52 lewy, nice analysis. I sure hope you're right.

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