Facing the inevitible

In the film, I Remember Mama, Oscar Homolka plays the curmudgeonly Uncle Chris. Later in the movie Chris's nieces are called to say their last good byes before he dies. After he dies, his niece Marta, the Mama of the title played by Irene Dunne, wants her daughter Katrin, played by Barbara Bel Geddes, to see the the now deceased Uncle Chris. Marta tells Katrin,

I like you to know what death looks like. Then you are not frightened of it, ever.

Mama (Irene Dunne), Uncle Chris (Oscar Homolka), Katrin (Barbara Bel Geddes)
photo: ReelSF.com

 A few days ago someone posted on Facebook a comment that went something like this:

First it was Regis Philbin. Then it was John Saxon. Now it is Olivia de Havilland. This has to stop.

Regis Philbin was 88. John Saxon was 83. Olivia de Havilland was 103.

I am sorry, but people die. It is what they do. Nothing short of The Rapture is going to change that. Am I happy that people die? No, but this fear of death is bordering on the pathological. We cannot let it control and ruin our lives.

When I was 15 I was a pallbearer at the funeral of someone I knew. He died of a brain hemorrhage. He was two months younger than I was. That is a tragic death. My oldest brother died at age 52. In fact, my brother, my uncle, and both grandmothers were all dead before they were the age I am now.

It is very sad when we lose good friends here at the table. I mourn them. But we still need to live. Let their memories inspire us to be better to those with whom we are blessed to still have in our lives.

My sincere wish is that everyone lives a long, happy life. We need to cherish those who are special to us. We need to celebrate them when they are gone.

However, we cannot wallow in terror at the thought of the fate that waits for us all.