Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Free to be me as I see

We are lucky to be living in there times. In earlier times people were not able to live in whatever way they saw themselves. Things are different today.  Bruce Jenner is able to take some pills and have surgery and call himself a woman. Rachel Dolezal is able to live as a black. A new era of freedom is upon us.

This new age of social conscience has given me the courage to stand up and be true to me: I see myself as a millionaire. Society should allow me to live up to my self-image. I know that many closed-minded people will say, “But you don’t have the bank account of a millionaire.” Don’t listen to them! Jenner’s DNA says that he is a male. Dolezal’s DNA says that if she has black blood, it is a very small percentage. Don’t let the bigotry of facts deny me to live my life as I see it should be lived. Help me fight the oppression of social norms.


You can help. Please send me all of your banking information. I have the financial advisor to the late President of a small third-world country to help you with the details.

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33 comments:

  1. lady redJune 16, 2015 at 6:21 PM

    I've been pondering writing a post on this exact subject all day Matt, but I couldn't find an angle. You nailed it!

    There is one thing (well, many things actually) that I don't understand. How come Dolezal gets raked over the coals by the left, but Elizabeth Warren gets a free pass? Warren benefited greatly by appropriating a minority racial identity. Donezal? Not so much. I feel sorry for her; I think she has some pretty serious mental issues. If black folks forgive Donezal, it's really none of my beeswax. Warren, on the other hand, is a national leader who, with cold calculation, perpetuated a fraud upon the American people. She has become a multi-millionaire and is being encouraged to run for POTUS because of advantages gained by deceptively claiming a minority status. It's disgusting, really. But no one seems to care, certainly not the media piranhas.

    What am I missing?

    And yeah, I want to be filthy rich too. And gorgeous. And brilliant, with a mind like a steel trap. And...and... a rock star! I say I am all of those things, so POOF! Everyone must accept my new "identity" as reality. This game is fun!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. RadioMattMJune 16, 2015 at 7:19 PM

      Hey, three out of four ain't bad, Lady Red! Although I think maybe you are probably more of a folkie or a country artist than a rock star.

      I wish there was someone I could play and/or sing with. I have been itchy to do harmonies with someone.

      Delete
    2. lady redJune 16, 2015 at 7:37 PM

      I hear you Matt. I'd love to have someone to play with too. I've been working on my Travis picking...it'd be great to have another guitar (and a voice!) to go with my stutterings and fumblings.

      Delete
    3. lewy14June 17, 2015 at 2:45 AM

      Taylor Swift is pretty partial to Red. Just sayin... ;)

      Delete
    4. lady redJune 17, 2015 at 6:24 AM

      Oh my gosh lewy, I barely know who that is! Does that mean I need to change my radio dial more often? lol

      Delete
    5. lewy14June 17, 2015 at 8:34 AM

      Actually lr, I think you might like Taylor Swift. She appeals to a lot of people who are kinda fed up with pop culture.

      Delete
    6. floranistaJune 17, 2015 at 12:34 PM

      I bet you've heard her music, lady red.

      Shake it off.

      Note the number of views. She's a breath of fresh air, she's a very talented and grounded "star". Her mom was at the last Country Music Awards to talk about her and present her award. She doesn't rely on outrageous behavior or eccentric style to promote herself (like Sia, Madonna, Miley Cyrus, Lady Gag Gag, etc.).

      Delete
    7. lady redJune 17, 2015 at 4:33 PM

      Thanks for the recommendation friends! I'll check her out! :)

      Delete
  2. floranistaJune 16, 2015 at 6:32 PM

    Haahaahaha, perfect, Matt!

    ReplyDelete
  3. FayJune 16, 2015 at 10:46 PM

    I want to be a middle aged white woman, who had a successful business career without the benefit of a university degree. Who grew up in a home with a very strict mother who was widowed at the age of 40. Who learned from her mother's example to be industrious, independent, well mannered, passionate and compassionate. Who is crazy about cooking. And doing things right. Who loves giving and receiving.

    Oh wait.

    I am.

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    Replies
    1. lewy14June 17, 2015 at 2:42 AM

      This. So much this.

      [Idiomatic millennial-speak. Rough translation into boomer-speak: "Right on!"]

      Delete
    2. lady redJune 17, 2015 at 6:25 AM

      Perfect Fay. Simply perfect!

      Delete
  4. lewy14June 17, 2015 at 2:53 AM

    Once upon a time, there were people so naive they didn't even realize they were cis-gendered... imagine!

    What are we going to do with all the databases which are restricted to a single bit to determine gender? (Male = 0, Female = 1)

    Given Woman/Transwoman/Genderqueer (not making that up, it's a thing), and more every day, the only safe thing is to declare
    gender VARCHAR(255)
    and migrate the schema. Maybe Aridog can do some more consulting on the "transition".

    Where am I going with this? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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    1. lady redJune 17, 2015 at 6:31 AM

      At the risk of sounding "judgmental", I think this whole "do yer own thang" business has spun wildly out of control. I'm personally sick of having everyone's quirks and mental illnesses smashed in my face as something I must accept and celebrate as beneficial to society as a whole.

      Um, no. NO.

      Delete
    2. floranistaJune 17, 2015 at 12:37 PM

      "At the risk of sounding "judgmental", I think this whole "do yer own thang" business has spun wildly out of control. I'm personally sick of having everyone's quirks and mental illnesses smashed in my face as something I must accept and celebrate as beneficial to society as a whole."

      Hear, hear!

      Delete
    3. FayJune 17, 2015 at 3:33 PM

      Te he lewy :)

      Delete
    4. FayJune 17, 2015 at 3:37 PM

      lady red, did you here about the group that calls itself "transabled?" Born perfectly normal but believe they should be disabled. And set about looking for people to lob off their limbs.

      I am not joking.

      Delete
    5. FayJune 17, 2015 at 3:38 PM

      hear, dammit!

      Delete
    6. lady redJune 17, 2015 at 4:32 PM

      Unfortunately, I have heard of this mental illness. It's incredibly sad. These people belong in a psychiatrist's office, not on a surgeon's table. BUT, there will always be some money-grubbing butcher who will accommodate them, and a vocal group of loonies to cheer them on. It gives me the heebie-jeebies!

      Delete
    7. AridogJune 20, 2015 at 10:17 AM

      No thanks Lewy ... I'd need more than one bit to delineate and introducing that would be rather a chore. I'm not sure there are any columns left in the idiotic 80 column delineated text files government uses for personnel data extrapolation...we'd, oh my gosh, need another table just linked to the 0 & 1 bits to discriminate (positively)...and government folk are not prone to that. The humongous one table text file used as a Db table for personal information alone made it easy to hack, most any 5th grader could do it. The is no excuse for placing all personal info in one table. When I have to deal with those things I spend more time redacting columns than actual analysis. And that is every year when I consult on "manning documents" versus space allocations...when I'm done redacting I have but 10 columns of only pertinent data that matters for analysis. The other 70 are just representative of lazy Db input and management. Now get lazy with "roles & permissions" as was the case for Manning, let alone Snowden, and you have a nice recipe for disaster. Even Db administrators should be subject to the "need to know" rules, but rarely are....gapping hole therefor.

      So...thank you very much, I'll just sit back and watch the show.

      Delete
  5. lady redJune 17, 2015 at 2:18 PM

    imgw:"https://scontent-ord1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xfp1/v/t1.0-9/10609665_10153329643498376_6361522312482498675_n.jpg?oh=09deb56e4535d24b2e3b06ef11a825fb&oe=562EF970"

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    1. AridogJune 20, 2015 at 5:32 PM

      Perfect. The Beagle, as adorable as they are generally, are the closest thing to a cat in the canine world.

      Delete
    2. AridogJune 22, 2015 at 11:00 PM

      That said, along with my attitude that I like Beagles so long as they are "your" Beagles, not mine (I can give them back)...if that little guy in the photo needed a home, I'd adopt him/her in heartbeat. Beagles can manipulate your mind.

      Delete
  6. lady redJune 17, 2015 at 2:29 PM

    imgw:"https://scontent-ord1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xtf1/v/t1.0-9/11407031_918324861559828_1597323464838267047_n.jpg?oh=a86c43d74160e203d41b4811ed093040&oe=55F802F5"

    ReplyDelete
  7. lady redJune 17, 2015 at 2:30 PM

    imgw:"https://scontent-ord1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xfp1/v/t1.0-9/11058084_10204940034205988_6611445796860134003_n.jpg?oh=a2532641e1232cb4fa871a9d11d28d1c&oe=562B5707"

    ReplyDelete
  8. lady redJune 17, 2015 at 2:36 PM

    imgw:"https://scontent-ord1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xfp1/v/t1.0-9/10478173_959270800802865_5240271263613401839_n.jpg?oh=f9061ebd97a95a8a5914ed4c91b2353e&oe=55ECEBA4"

    ReplyDelete
  9. lady redJune 17, 2015 at 2:40 PM

    imgw:"https://scontent-ord1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xta1/v/t1.0-9/11403251_411556105700392_8459054566815566533_n.jpg?oh=ff315a3a9f7a90ca18eb1cfc50227766&oe=5632819E"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. FayJune 17, 2015 at 3:39 PM

      Hahahahaha, you made my day lady red.

      Delete
    2. annieJune 20, 2015 at 5:15 PM

      Lady Red, those pix are priceless! :))

      Delete
  10. lewy14June 18, 2015 at 6:21 AM

    Awesome mem-fu, lady red!

    My wife identifies as a nekomimi, a magical anime cat girl.

    I of course identify as a vampire. (Vegan, of course).

    ReplyDelete
  11. annieJune 20, 2015 at 5:16 PM

    Matt your post was spot on. And very very funny too. :)) If you ever get any replies please let us know. :D And of course share the loot with all your kitchen comrades here!

    ReplyDelete

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