It's a poignant post about the loss of a sibling - something which some of us have sadly experienced.
As I was born an only child, I'm fated never to endure this kind of loss - but about a year ago, my wife flew home to join her parents in burying her sister.
Paul's post is somber and full of challenging experience, but worth reading. His conclusion is a wise one:
What's most important is that we are good too each other, and ourselves. If we "win", but have failed to do that, then we have lost. Winning is nothing. This doesn't mean that we can't push ourselves or stretch our own limits. Those things can be very healthy, but only when done for their own sake.When I was younger, I did glimpse this truth - sporadically, and through a glass, darkly. Increasingly I'm coming around to see it face to face.
I lost a sibling -- on my birthday to boot. For a long time I caught myself saying, "Oh, I need to tell Larry about this. Uh, no."
ReplyDeleteI felt that losing my parents was somewhat anticlimactic after losing my brother.
Matt, indeed, I was thinking of you when I posted this.
DeleteThanks, Lewy. i guess it comes with the territory of getting older.
DeleteI can't imagine how painful it would be to lose a sibling. Our brothers and sisters are such a huge part of who we are. My heart goes out to you Matt.
ReplyDeleteNoah lost his brother Bobby to brain cancer when Bobby was eight and Noah was eleven. They were very close, and Noah still grieves.
I have lost two nephews. Chris died at age five after a long and heroic battle with brain cancer (oh, that was a hard one). Carlos (we called him by his middle name, Martin, to distinguish him from his uncle Carlos) died at age 30 when his fishing vessel, the Katmai, went down in the Aleutians. We never recovered his body.
Winning is nothing. It's the journey, and savoring every moment with the people we love, that fills our hearts.
Thank you for this post lewy. It's lovely.
At least my brother had a decent run, Lady Red. Losing a sibling as a child or as a young adult would really hurt.
ReplyDeleteYes Matt, I agree. I think that's why Noah has had such a rough time. :(
ReplyDeleteI probably shouldn't have even mentioned my nephs. It's a different thing altogether, and strayed from the spirit of this post. I apologize for my early morning myopia.
Buchheit words were very touching, and went straight to my heart. Thanks again for posting it lewy.