Monday, June 15, 2015

The Problem

Wherein your correspondent is shocked to find in a book review an accurate description of the joke that passes for his life.

Most of the men didn’t have anyone to talk to other than their wives, which is why I believe they tried so desperately to hold on to them…. Some of the men were so dependent on their wives, they didn’t think they could live without them, but one thing all the men shared was a fear of losing their children. 
The men I interviewed feared losing their family, but the women didn’t seem to have that fear. The women thought of it as losing their husbands, not their family. 
More often than not, the men were forced to move out of their homes and away from their kids. They lost all of their attachment bonds and felt as though they were losing their whole identity. Many of the men became suicidal when their wife left and remained so for a long time afterwards. A few of the men said that they felt homicidal.

On the other hand, “the word used by the majority of women I interviewed to describe their husbands [was] ‘pathetic.’” When the full extent of their husband’s emotional dependence upon them comes out, women are not moved or gratified; they feel contempt for what they see as weakness.



  1. Sorry you're going through a tough time.

    When my first marriage fell apart, I was left with no home, no money, and a baby. He got it all. All. I'm the one that had to move, from Arizona to Oregon. He didn't want me there complicating his relationship with his pregnant girlfriend. My son's half-brother Joey was born within my marriage, and I guess is technically my son. I have a great relationship with Joey to this day, despite the awful circumstances, and I love him dearly. Sometimes God gives us blessings when we least expect it.

    I hope you can find a blessing too Jourdan. And I hope you realize that it isn't just men that are disseminated by crumbling marriages.

    I'm a three-time loser, and have seen the very worst that men have to offer. But I don't hate men. I know there are outstanding men in the world; heck, there are outstanding men in MY world. I have Tom, and Matt, and Dick, and Lewy, and Don, and you. I have my son, and my stepdad, and my brothers, and my BIL, and a slew of nephews. Good men all.

    As for me, I'll cuddle up to my furry girls Molly and Bella, and call it good. There are worse things than living alone. Much worse.

  2. I can't add anything meaningful to what lady red has said in her eloquent post but I will just say that I too am sorry you are going through so much emotional pain, Jourdan. Yes, it sounds trite but...this too shall pass.

    And to our dear lady red, love you.