Friday, January 20, 2017

'Twas the Night before Donald

We are so excited that Obama is exiting stage left at last, not a day too soon! (In fact many many days too late, but that's another story).

The Israeli press is all gearing up for the inauguration, but us observant Jews are mightily frustrated that we're going to miss all the fun because it's happening when it's already Shabbat here, a time when we don't watch TV or listen to the radio.

But never fear, we can catch up on Saturday night. Meanwhile I wanted to join in the fun just a bit. Here is a great poem* (whose title I cheekily changed in the headline) that I found in the comments section of an Israeli blog, and I thought it might tickle your fancy ☺ :

(*No offence if you wouldn't have chosen Cruz, as the poet writes. I have no opinion on the matter, being a non-American).

T'was The Night Before Christmas 

Twas the night before Christmas, and up in the tower,
The Donald reflected on his newfound power.
The conservative masses had come out in force,
And delivered a victory that would chart a new course.

The snowflakes were shell-shocked with tears in their eyes,
The media lied to them . . . what a surprise.
They had been promised a Hillary win,
But the criminal Clinton took one on the chin.

And though from all corners celebrities flew,
They made no impression, for they hadn’t a clue.
They talked about climate, racism, and such,
And they made up good stories . . . but didn’t know much.

The fake news and ignorance came at a cost,
And they can’t understand all the reasons they lost.
They blame it on Comey and Bernie and Vlad,
But fail to acknowledge the one that was bad.

Yes, Hillary Clinton, in many ways flawed,
Was her own biggest hurdle toward getting the nod.
The campaign exposed her corruptness and greed,
And her speeches were punch-less as ten dollar weed.

So out in the streets there arose such a clatter,
It was Soros-paid protestors and Black Lives Matter.
With cities to pillage and windows to smash,
They knew not the issues, but needed the cash.

Eight years of Obama had given them cause,
To expect a replacement of their Santa Claus.
But soon the protestors will feel the pain,
When the wheels fall off of the old gravy train.

And now all the snowflakes are riddled with fear,
Upset and offended by things that they’ll hear.
The cocoa and crayons will help for a while,
But fact-based opinions will soon cramp their style.

I originally supported, and voted, for Cruz,
In the end, I would vote for whoever they choose.
He wasn’t my first choice, but soon I would cede,
The one they call Trump is the one that we need.

I saw him on TV in front of a crowd,
He spoke about veterans, it made me feel proud.
He spoke about energy, safety, and jobs,
Taking this country back from the Washington snobs.

He was dressed in Armani, all tailored and neat,
And the Brunos he wore made the outfit complete.
For a man of his vintage, he seemed rather fit,
And he looked presidential, I have to admit.

His eyes glowed like embers, his smile was the best,
And his hair was the color of my old hunting vest.
His love for this country was on full display,
And his actions spoke louder than his words could say.

He thanked all his voters, and before he was gone,
Saved thousands of jobs while Obama looked on.
The fate of this country left nothing to chance,
So, he filled out his cabinet weeks in advance.

The men he had chosen were of the same mind,
Let’s set the bar high, and not lead from behind.
He picked up his phone as he rose from his seat,
With a flick of his finger, he sent out this tweet;

“Now Mattis!, now Kelly!’ now Sessions! and Pruitt!
On Perry! On Flynn, You’re the ones who can do it.
Start lifting restrictions and building the wall,
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!”;

The roar of his audience rose from the stands,
He kissed all their babies and shook all their hands.
He answered their questions and calmed all their fears,
They knew it would be a fantastic four years.

Then he jumped in his limo, and off to his jet,
A fellow that Liberals won’t soon forget.
He sent one more tweet as the evening expired;

“MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND OBAMA – YOU’RE FIRED!

Congratulations America! May the next 4 years, and hopefully 8 years, bring you unity, prosperity, peace, and yes, goodwill to all men of peace.

27 comments:

  1. And her speeches were punch-less as ten dollar weed.

    Having smoked too much cheap weed back in the day, this one cuts close to home.

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  2. It is amazing how the left is behaving. Protestors were targeting a Starbucks -- one of the most liberal companies out there.

    Do these people have any idea what they are doing?

    That was a rhetorical question: I know the answer is "no."

    Thank you Annie.

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  3. That great Annie! I loved it!

    I watched about an hour of the inauguration this morning. It was amazing. President Trump ripped 'em a new one! Mooch looked like she was sucking on a lemon, and Obama's face was as white as his hair. And the Clintons! Out with the garbage!

    Did you all see Paul Ryan smirking? He really thinks he's hot stuff. I hope President Trump swats him like a fly. :)

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  4. Well, it seems it's going to be another of "those" nights. My third this week, in fact.

    I felt miserable this evening, and so went to bed at 6:30, knowing I would end up waking early, and I did.

    I woke at 8:45, feeling still pretty miserable, but my body has decided that 2&1/4 hours was a power nap, and I've been unable to get back to sleep.

    I've now given up and made a pot of strong coffee. But I am not looking forward to my upcoming Sunday

    ReplyDelete
  5. Yep. Still awake at 1:30 am. The strong coffee was probably not the best idea, but at least it keeps me semi-functional.

    Not that I can do anything, I would wake my very ill sister in the bedroom off the kitchen (yes, it is a weird layout)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'll keep you company DWT!

      What did you think about all these women protesting in their silly hats? There sure was a bunch of them!

      Delete
    2. They were pussy hats. Get it, pussy hats?!

      Yeah. Me neither.

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    3. The hats are degrading to all women. No class. No dignity. Just vulgarity and appalling trashiness.

      Facebook has been fun. Thanks Fay for jumping in to help swat that edjumacated idiot that stunk up Amber's post. I'd love to know what his degree is, and from where. I'm guessing social work, and that he graduated from a small state school with a 2.0. Who else would be so obnoxious? I'm glad I don't personally know him. Ugh.

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    4. The whole thing was degrading, and idiotic, since it was partially organized a supporter of sharia.

      The marchers either have no knowledge of islam or a false "knowledge"

      See the marching morons go,
      Hand in hand and row by row.
      Merry morons all aglow,
      Hand in hand and row by row.
      Of all those morons that you see,
      Your eyes will never fall on me.
      I won't be marching, all aglow,
      Hand in hand and row by row.

      Delete
  6. Hey, lady red, I don't normally do that but my goodness he was so obnoxious I couldn't help it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He was an idiot! That thread is still going. :))

      I think a lot of traditional women are feeling more empowered since the inauguration. I know I am. I'm grinning from ear to ear, for the first time in a VERY long time.

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  7. Replies
    1. Interesting deconstruction of Roosevelt. Naturally it will now be accepted as gospel by those who make the "America Was Never Great" claim

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    2. Rewriting history. It's a thang.

      I found it funny that Twain despised him so much. :)

      Delete
  8. Great version, annie! Like you, I was no Trump fan and I still have my reservations but I'm deliriously happy that HRC is not our president! His picks seem very good and I'm hoping for the best.

    It's been interesting watching all the violence done by these "protesters" this weekend. Someone was shot here in Seattle during the Trump and Milo protest (he was speaking at the UofW) and there's a great video of one of lewy's homeys being verbally abusive on a plane, another of a Trump supporter having her hair set on fire.

    Part 1

    Part 2

    Trump supporter's hair set on fire

    Shia Labouef loving Trump's hate

    I apologize in advance if my links don't work!

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  9. Replies
    1. I think I know them but then they look like a lot of other old vegan fuckwits.

      Have they been identified?

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    2. A lot of these nutcases need a straight jacket. They're certifiable, and would not have been allowed in polite company 50 years ago.

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  10. TCKT reply button is not working for me.

    I would think they've been indentified, lewy, although I haven't seen their names or any interviews with them. OTOH, the man she verbally assaulted was a guest with Martha McCallum this evening. Seemed like a nice, laid back guy.

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    Replies
    1. yeah the mainstream news wouldn't identify them i just wonder if it's going around on social media. i swear they look familiar.

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  11. Here is something interesting. A supposed letter from one of the rioters on inauguration day, to those who hired him.

    My bad memory & limited skills make it impossible for me to put it here as an image, but here is a link:

    https://s29.postimg.org/geogkafcn/IMG_2221.jpg

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Here's the image:

      imgw:"https://s29.postimg.org/geogkafcn/IMG_2221.jpg"

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    2. Sick it up morons, the ADULTS are back in charge.

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    3. Even more, people that are going to treat you morons (no matter how infantile you are) as adults are back

      Delete