How the UK suddenly got a new Prime Minister - explained for Americans

To give you a lift from the doom and gloom that is encompassing the United States in recent weeks, here is one of the funniest (and in actual fact pretty accurate) descriptions of how the UK suddenly ended up with a new Prime Minister without trying very hard at all.

It basically boils down to a bloke called Graham. And nary a cup of tea in sight until Mrs. May met the Queen. And even then I'm not quite sure... 

Enjoy!

Hi America! So you might have heard that today the UK gets a new prime minister. This has happened much quicker than we expected and has taken lots of people by surprise.

 You know how your presidential elections take about three years? This is not like that.

Maybe you’re thinking, Oh, that’s probably because the British sorted it out without any fuss in their quaint, traditional ways. There was probably tea involved. Haha NOPE.

 No tea has played a significant role…yet.

As we explained recently, ever since we voted to leave the EU, everything about our country has become ridiculous and confusing.

So here’s what happened: David Cameron was our prime minister. He’s from the ruling right-wing Conservative party, aka the Tories – think the Republicans, except they all went to Oxford University and like posh things, like drinking port and having money.

He called a referendum on whether we should be in the EU, just to try to calm down the Europe-hating right wing of his party, but he then proceeded to lose it, plunging the country into economic and constitutional turmoil. So he resigned.

NOW HOLD UP, YANKEE FRIENDS. When our prime minister resigns, it’s not like a president resigning! We don’t directly elect our prime minister – instead, we elect members of parliament (MPs), and whoever can ~command a majority~ of MPs gets to be PM. Which basically means it’s the leader of the largest party.

As result, the country doesn’t get to elect a new prime minister when the old one goes, and we don’t have a vice president who can step in right away and Biden things up a bit. Instead, it’s up to the ruling party to pick a new leader. In this case, that’s the Conservatives.

(Don’t worry, guys, this seems weird but it’s happened loads of times before.)

So far so good... Go and read the rest!

But wait! There's more, further down :-D

And then at 12.15pm, Andrea Leadsom announced that she…was dropping out of the race.

This confused the hell out of everybody, because the Conservative party rules weren’t entirely clear on what happens when a candidate drops out at this stage. Does one of the defeated candidates come in to replace them? Do they have to start the whole process again?

So what actually happened was that in the end, the decision about who’d be our next prime minister basically came down to this man, who is called Graham Brady and is the chair of something called the 1922 Committee.

The 1922 Committee may sound like it’s some kind of league of supervillains, but it’s actually an organisation of Conservative MPs! So it actually is kind of like a league of supervillains, amirite?! LOL jokes.

At 12.30pm, dear old Graham came out and told the press that the Conservative members didn’t need to have an election after all, because Theresa May was the only one left. And that’s how Britain found out it had a new prime minister: with a man called Graham awkwardly explaining rules to some people kneeling on the ground.

So yeah: around 90 minutes after launching her campaign to be prime minister, Theresa May was announced as the next prime minister, making it possibly the shortest and most successful political campaign in history.

There's lots of stuff at this point about Brexit. But back to the PM...

Anyway, this all happened on Monday. Unlike in the US, where you get a nice leisurely three-month changeover period, the removal van turned up at Downing Street the next day to cart all of David Cameron’s shit away.

Brutal.

But hold up! Theresa May doesn’t officially become prime minister until today. If we knew she was the last candidate standing on Monday, why didn’t she just become PM right away?

Well, because in order to become prime minister, there’s one thing that needs to happen. GUESS WHAT IT IS? Yes, that’s right, they need to go have tea with the Queen! Because this is Britain.

And they couldn’t do that on Monday, because the Queen wasn’t in London. Lol we’re not even kidding.

All this political drama would make you thirsty for a nice cup of tea though, wouldn’t it? Finally, tea is involved in this story.

I knew you'd love this story.

And for dessert, please welcome Boris Johnson as Foreign Secretary. The luvvies are aghast at this inappropriate appointment. After all he insulted Barack Obama in a newspaper column, calling him "incoherent, inconsistent and downright hypocritical...a part-Kenyan President.", compared Hillary Clinton to a "sadistic nurse in a mental institution" and wrote a very rude limerick about Turkish President Erdogan.  And he's very pro-Israel. Who better to fill this important post?

I'm having a field day reading Twitter responses to Boris's appointment. They are a treat to behold. Here are a few:

Boris Johnson as Foreign Secretary. Never let it be said Theresa May doesn't have a sense of humour. #Cabinet

— Elizabeth Windsor (@Queen_UK) July 13, 2016

RNC could always draft new UK Foreign Secretary @BorisJohnson at the Convention - he's a natural-born US Citizen https://t.co/gr0AjTEuhb

— Louise Mensch (@LouiseMensch) July 14, 2016

New British Foreign Secretary #Boris Johnson, has an 'infectious" enthusiasm for #Israel and is an outspoken friend https://t.co/jkkzLQll93

— Lenny (@LennyBoyUSA) July 14, 2016

For the first time in a long time I'm looking forward to following British politics. Looks like it's going to be a wild (and fun!) ride.