Monday, August 31, 2015

Yes, there are good things about the interwebs...

A story I posted on FB that I wanted to share here as well.

Wow, what a day! Early this morning I received an email (through theAncestry.com site) from someone researching my mother (she died in 1993). This person had the same surname as my mother's maiden name and he told me the name of his father. I responded that I wasn't familiar with his name or his fathers and asked why he wanted information about my mother. Numerous emails later, carefully worded on his part, I still didn't know what relationship he or his father had with my mother. I suspected it might be something that he thought might upset me. I asked him straight out what their relationship was and not to be afraid to tell me as I would not be upset.
So, here in his own words, is the explanation:
"Hi Fay Whilst your mother was working at xxx (approx. 1937), she fell pregnant (On December 26th that year she gave birth to my father at the children hospital on City Road). Being very young and unable to look after him she put him into foster care in the belief she would later be able to look after him. The war and other factors played a part, but they stayed in touch until he was twenty one. He occasionally worked in a shop connected to your father? but wasn't allowed to tell anyone who he was when he was a teenager somewhere on /near xxx. Shortly after/around his Twenty first birthday my father got engaged to my mother and introduced her to your mother, the meeting did not go well (as my mother had an incapacity to understand the situation). So basically he was a half brother to you and yes I was concerned about telling you. But I am glad I have, I hope you are too Kindest regards xxx"
Several emails later we exchanged contact details and I called him. We spoke for about 45 minutes. He is overjoyed to find his grandmother's family as he has no knowledge or contact with any family on his father's side. He has 2 sisters and one brother and the fours siblings have 11 children between them So I have gained 15 relatives in one day!
Sadly, his father died at the very young age of 44 without ever having had contact again with my mother. He asked his son (the one who contacted me) to try and make contact and he has been trying to find us since 1981. The reason they were not in contact after his engagement was because the fiance could not accept that my mother had put her son into foster care and not raised him herself. She basically gave him an ultimatum it was either her or his mother. It upset him greatly. I can't imagine what my mother went through. She lost her father the same year her son cut off contact then she lost her husband (my father) the following year.

14 comments:

  1. I've been teary eyed all day!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh my gosh, Fay, what a story!

    I can understand your great emotion, especially since your parents are gone (and your half-brother). But it's good you could talk to your new nephew and learn a little more.

    How sad that people have to be so harsh and judgmental. We all make mistakes, this just reminds me that forgiveness is a virtue to be cultivated.

    {{{Fay}}}

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aww, thank you florrie. I am looking forward to getting to know my new (to me) relatives and filling in as many blanks as I can for my (new) nephew.

      Delete
  3. Whoa.

    What florrie said. {{{Fay}}}

    I'm especially blown away by your last two sentences:

    I can't imagine what my mother went through. She lost her father the same year her son cut off contact then she lost her husband (my father) the following year.

    That's going to be something to ponder. It's wonderful you are so compassionate for everyone involved!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lewy, when he first contacted me he was so careful. The hints kind of gave it away, by the time we had exchanged four or five emails Matt and I looked at each other and said "are you thinking what I'm thinking?" I finally had to coax it out of him he was so concerned about upsetting me.

      Delete
  4. This is stunning news Fay. Wow. Just wow!

    I too am overcome by your last two sentences. G_d bless your mom. She endured so much, and raised such a compassionate daughter. And now the grandson she never knew and her daughter have reconnected the family bond! I'm crying my eyes out here. I'm so happy for you! {{{Fay}}}

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We have been exchanging photo's and emails all week. He never seen a picture of my mother before and he and his siblings were overwhelmed. There is a strong resemblance with my mother, her younger brother, my nephew and my sister. I keep looking at his pictures and saying to myself, I had a brother. Wow, so emotional.

      Delete
    2. I wish he was still here for you, Fay.

      What an incredibly moving story. How wonderful to share the pictures of your mom, it obviously meant the world to them. I can't imagine all the emotions you must be going through...

      Delete
    3. We are all blubbering like idiots florrie! My nephew is beside himself, my sister can't string two words together and my long lost nephew is completely over whelmed.

      Delete
  5. This is an amazing, incredibly moving story Fay. If it had been fiction I would have aid it's too cheesy to be real. You should write it up in a genealogy forum. It gives motivation to all those people who are still searching for their families.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Anne. I sent him a copy of the Certificate given to my mother when she converted to Judaism. He is completely thrilled to have a "certified Jewish grandma". In a deliciously "you couldn't make this up twist" his own wife comes from a family of French Jews who escaped France during the war. On another note, I am interested in your idea of documenting this on a genealogy forum except I have no clue about such forums. Could you perhaps suggest one? Thanks.

      Delete
    2. I have a very good friend who's an amateur (in the unpaid sense, not in his professionalism) genealogist. He lives here in Israel but has contacts all over the world. I'll ask him for some ideas.

      Delete
  6. Fay, I'm going to send you an email about this.

    ReplyDelete